See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
