I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
