"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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