I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there was a trapeze. enough said
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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