sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
