dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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