these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize