matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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