So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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