you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
