whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize