oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
