Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
