i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
