Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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