He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
