Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
