omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
