btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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