Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
