all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
