I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
