it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
