garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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