So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
