so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Small penises have feelings too.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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