It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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