So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Pappa wants mamma naked
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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