i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
