life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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