so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
