i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
