I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize