Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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