I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize