so explain again why im purple
no
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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