Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
