I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
