I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
