You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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