He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
