Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
