I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
