He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
