Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
