Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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