I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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