You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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