how can u be prego again
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize