im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
