Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
