One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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