Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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