i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize