So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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