I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
