yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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