The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
