No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
