So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
