so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
