Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
