gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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