like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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